We Are Star Dust

For spring break, we made a trip to NYC over a long weekend.  We went to the American Natural History Museum on Friday, and one thing that really captured my attention was this display:

We Are Star Dust

Every atom of oxygen in our lungs, of carbon in our muscles, of calcium in our bones, of iron in our blood - was created inside a star before Earth was born.

Hydrogen and helium, the lightest elements were produced in the Big Bang.
Almost all of the other, heavier, elements were produced inside stars.

Stars forge heavy elements by fusion in their cores. In a star of intermediate mass, these elements can mix into the star’s atmosphere and be spread into space through stellar winds.

During the supernova explosion of a massive star is the only time when elements heavier than iron are fused. The supernova expels this material across interstellar space.

The enriched material ejected by stellar winds and supernova explosions becomes parts of vast interstellar clouds. The Sun formed within such a cloud, where some of the heavy elements condensed to form Earth.

“I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journeywork of the stars."

- Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

I believe the story of Creation is the story of the Big Bang, and the formation of the stars and planets, and the evolution of every form of life on Earth.  To me, there is no contradiction between these ideas.  God spoke, and the universe was created out of nothing; God brought order out of chaos.

So the idea of God using stars and supernovas as a sort of forge or refinery to create elemental building materials is beautiful and intriguing to me.

And then, we went to church and heard this song:

So Will I

God of creation
There at the start
Before the beginning of time
With no point of reference
You spoke to the dark
And fleshed out the wonder of light

And as you speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapor of your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship
So will I
I can see your heart in everything you’ve made
Every burning star a signal fire of grace
If creation sings your praises
So will I

God of Your promise
You don’t speak in vain
No syllable empty or void
For once you have spoken
All nature and science
Follow the sound of your voice

And as you speak
A hundred billion creatures catch your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what you said
If it all reveals your nature
So will I
I can see your heart in everything you say
Every painted sky a canvas of your grace
If creation still obeys you
So will I

​If the stars were made to worship

So will I

If the mountains bow in reverence
So will I
If the oceans roar your greatness
So will I
For if everything exists to lift you high
So will I
If the wind goes where you send it
So will I
If the rocks cry out in silence
So will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times

God of salvation
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill you created
The Light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die
And as you speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where you lost your life so I could find it here
If you left the grave behind you
So will I

I can see your heart in everything you’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called Love
If you gladly chose surrender
So will I
I can see your heart eight billion different ways
Every precious one a child you died to save
If you gave your life to love them
So will I
Like you would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind

(The starlit effect during the bridge to this song is amazing-- I think it's worth watching the video to just to see it, although it was much more beautiful experiencing it in person.)

Jehovah Shalom

Mental Health Checklist (2019-01-12)

Peace is a promise you keep

You will stay true

even when the lies come

Your word remains truth

even when my thoughts don’t line up

I will stand tall

on each promise you’ve made

Let the rest fade away

There’s a Peace far beyond all understanding
May it ever set my heart at ease
Dare anxiety come—I’ll remember that
Peace is a promise you keep
Peace is a promise you keep

You will stay true

even in the Chaos

Your word remains truth

even when my mind wreaks havoc

I will be still

for I’ve known all along

My Jehovah Shalom

There's a Peace far beyond all understanding

May it ever set my heart at ease

What anxiety fails to remember is

Peace is a promise you keep

Peace is a promise you keep

You are Peace to the restless soul
You are Peace when my thoughts wage war
You are Peace to the anxious heart
That’s who you are, that’s who you are

You are Peace when my fear takes hold
You are Peace when I feel enclosed
You are Peace when I lose control
That’s who you are, that’s who you are

That’s who you’ll always be

I’ve found a Peace far beyond all understanding
Let it flow when my mind's under siege
All anxiety bows in the presence
Of Jesus the keeper of Peace
Peace is a promise he keeps

Pandora's iPod

This is brilliant.

I got it on my iPod touch, but it's also available on your computer. Now I've just got to figure out how to get it in my car!

Preacher's Gift

Have you ever felt like your job has taken over your soul, and your life is spiraling out of control?

You're not alone.

Please set aside 40 minutes, and listen to this.

Frustration & Faith

I've been meaning to write up this posting for quite awhile now. (My first attempt was back in January.) I think that there are two reasons why it's taken me so long to get around to it:

1. I needed to dedicate a fairly sizeable block of uninterrupted time to doing it. (i.e. You may notice that this posting is rather long.)


2. I think I needed to be ready to let go of it. What I'm trying to say is that I couldn't write about all of this while I was in the midst of it. But now I feel like I'm ready to mark a moment, kind of like a memorial, and move on from here.

In the past year and half, I have had to really struggle through some serious questions about who I am, how I define my self-worth, and what my purpose is. Throughout this period, I've had a playlist on my iPod called "Frustration & Faith." Now, as a general rule, I don't look to pop music for philosophy or counseling, but these songs either say how I was feeling, or they say things that I needed to believe in. And somehow I just feel like I should share this...

1. Bad Day - by Daniel Powter
   
   When things at my job were at their absolute worst, this song seemed to be on the radio every single time I got into the car. And since I had literally a 5 minute commute each way, it also seemed like something more than coincidence. The song is actually way too upbeat to describe how I was really feeling-- I think the only lyrics that specifically applied to me were:

   
   You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
   You tell me your life's been way off line
   You're falling to pieces every time

   
   That part reminds me of going to get coffee in the cafeteria at work every morning with my friend Gus, which was invariably the high-point of my day. The rest of the day was always miserable.



2. Meant to Live - Switchfoot

   
   Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open
   Maybe we're bent and broken
   Broken
   
   We were meant to live for so much more
   Have we lost ourselves?
   Somewhere we live inside
   
   We want more than this world's got to offer
   We want more than the wars of our fathers
   And everything inside screams for second life




3. Tell Me Who I Am - Steve Manuel

   
   Cause I know I'm not the sum of what everybody says
   And I'm not a magazine, or what my body image is
   I've got to be more than my job
   I've got to be more than my address
   More than living to get by
   Or trying to impress...




4. Out Is Through - Alanis Morissette

   
   My tendency to want to run away feels natural and
   My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable
   
   The only way out is through
   The only way we'll feel better
   The only way out is through
   Ultimately




5. The Beautiful Letdown - Switchfoot

   
   It was a beautiful letdown when I crashed and burned
   When I found myself alone, unknown and hurt
   It was a beautiful letdown the day I knew
   That all the riches this world had to offer me
   Would never do
   
   In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubts
   I was trying so hard to fit in, to fit in,
   Until I found out
   That I don't belong here
   I don't belong here
   I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
   But I don't belong




6. Martyrs & Thieves - Jennifer Knapp

   
   And I know they are wrong
   When they say I am strong
   As the darkness covers me
   
   So turn on the light
   And reveal all the glory
   I am not afraid
   To bear all my weakness
   Knowing in meekness
   I have a kingdom to gain




7. Maybe There's a Loving God - Sara Groves
   
   I wrote a previous post about this song, and it just continues to be a favorite of mine.



8. In the Palm of Your Hand - Alison Krauss

   
   I'd rather be in the palm of Your hand
   Though rich or poor I may be
   Faith can see right through the circumstance
   Sees the forest in spite of the trees
   Your grace provides for me




9. Faithful to Me - Jennifer Knapp
   This simple, acapella song was a late addition to this list...

   
   All the chistles I've dulled carving idols of stone
   That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves.
   I have recklessly built all my dreams in the sand
   Just to watch them all wash away.
   
   Through another day, another trial,
   Another chance to reconcile
   To One who sees past all I see.
   And reaching out my weary hand
   I pray that You'd understand.
   You're the only one who's faithful to me.




10. Word of God Speak - MercyMe

    
    I'm finding myself at a loss for words
    And the funny thing is: It's okay.
    The last thing I need is to be heard
    But to hear what You would say
    
    I'm finding myself in the midst of You
    Beyond the music, beyond the noise
    All that I need is to be with You
    And in the quiet hear Your voice




11. To Be Free - Steve Manuel

    
    You can live by the book, but it's slavery
    You can try, try hard, to do right
    I would pray that I would be given bravery
    Just to live out my heart in the light
    
    I want to be free
    I want to know life
    I don't want to live afraid to die
    I just want to kill the fear in me
    I want to let it go
    I want to be free




12. Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

    
    My bones ache, my skin feels cold
    And I'm getting so tired and so old
    The anger swells in my guts
    And I won't feel these slices and cuts
    
    Get up, get out, get away from these liars
    Cause they don't get your soul or your fire
    Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
    And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time




13. This Is Your Life - Switchfoot

    
    This is your life
    And Today is all you've got now
    And Today is all you'll ever have
    
    Don't close your eyes
    
    This is your life
    Are you who you want to be?
    This is your life
    Is it everything you dreamed that it would be
    When the world was younger
    And you had everything to lose?




14. Perimeter of Me - Dividing the Plunder

    
    Well, I'm frightened by how easy it can be to live so long
    Going from one thing, to the next thing, to the next,
    'Til months have gone
    And you realize you have really not done anything at all
    At night you fall asleep believing you've just climbed
    So you could fall
    
    And I don't believe that "Who I Am" is something I can find
    It's whatever I create with what I do with all my time
    It's who I choose to love with all my heart, and strength, and mind
    And whether I believe that what I have is really mine




15. Giving In - Steve Manuel

    
    No more fighting, please
    No more pointing at me
    No more mourning who I'd hoped I'd be
    No more defending
    None of this wishing I was right
    No more concessions to my appetite
    
    I'm giving in, I'm giving up
    I won't let my pride into it
    And like cool wine poured from a crystal cup
    I'm giving in
    I'm giving up




16. Better Days - Robbie Seay Band

    
    Wherever your are, breathe out, and breath again
    And know that life is hard, but it's worth breathing
    Listen to me now, for Love, oh Love
    Is waiting for you, just to say:
    Here come better days




17. The Long Day Is Over - Norah Jones
    To me, this song is just a promise of something to look forward to-- That no matter how bad things get, there will eventually be an end to it, and a well-deserved rest. A feeling of coming home.

Maybe

This morning at my church, the band performed a song that really made an impression on me. It's beautiful, a little bit haunting, but also very hopeful. The song is called "Maybe There's a Loving God" and this evening I downloaded it from iTunes so that I can listen to it while I'm traveling this week. The singer who recorded the song is named Sara Groves, but I have to say that the girl who sang it today had a wonderful, expressive voice, and in my opinion, her performance was better than the original recording.

I wish I could share the song with you, but unfortunately, I think the best I can do here is to share the lyrics:

I'm trying to work things out
I'm trying to comprehend
Am I the chance result
Of some great accident?

I hear a rhythm call me
The echo of a grand design
I spend each night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars in the sky

I have another meeting today
With my new counselor
My mom will cry and say
I don't know what to do with her
She's so unresponsive
I just cannot break through
She spends all night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars and the moon

They have a chart and a graph
Of my despondency
They want to chart a path
For self-recovery
And want to know what I'm thinking
What motivates my mood
To spend all night in the backyard
Staring up at the stars and the moon

Maybe this was made for me
For lying on my back in the middle of a field
Maybe that's a selfish thought
Or maybe there's a loving God

Maybe I was made this way
To think and to reason and to question and to pray
And I have never prayed a lot
But maybe there's a loving God

And that may be a foolish thought
Or maybe there is a God

I think the song is about our quest for significance. Why are we here? Do we have a purpose? Do our lives have value? You may not believe that there is a God, but you still have to come up with your own personal answers about the meaning of your life.

I've been doing a lot of reading recently on the debate about Evolution vs. Intelligent Design. One of the many arguments for intelligent design is based on the idea that our Earth and our Sun are far more unique than scientists first thought. Earlier predictions said that we orbit a type of sun that is probably very common, and that there were probably millions of planets similar to ours. Now scientists are starting to say that our sun and solar system are unusual and rare, and that there may be very, very few planets like ours. Some experts say that our planet and our solar system seem to be not only uniquely well-suited for sustaining life, but also located in a position that is especially good for observing the universe.

So maybe the universe was made for us, for lying on our backs in the middle of a field, and maybe we were made this way, to think and to reason and to question and to pray...