Colorblindness & Depression

On a recent road trip up to Michigan, I was listening to a Planet Money podcast (#847) about the (accidental) invention of the Enchroma glasses for people with colorblindness.  One of the podcast reporters (Kenny Malone) is colorblind, and the other one (Sarah Gonzalez) had bought him a pair of the glasses to try out at the end of the show.  Sarah was really excited, but Kenny was skeptical that seeing color would be worth the $350 that the glasses cost.

The inventor of the glasses, Don McPherson, said it was tough to convince people to buy them initially:  “It was difficult, absolutely… People saying ‘I don’t need those because I’ve lived my whole life without them.’”  After seeing filtered images that illustrate what the world looks like for someone who is colorblind, I can kind of understand why they might be apathetic about the idea.  If everything in the world is a shade of mustardy yellow or a dull blue, how could you possibly imagine a reality that is radically different from the one you’ve always known?

https://www.boredpanda.com/different-types-color-blindness-photos/

It reminded me of a phrase in the Bible:

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.”

At that time, mirrors were made from polished bronze or copper, so Paul is essentially saying that what we experience here on Earth is like colorblindness, compared to what we'll experience in Heaven someday.

And when you see videos of people trying on the glasses and being completely overwhelmed-- shaken, speechless, sobbing-- it really makes me wonder what God has in store for us.

“I remember when I first put the glasses on, being… stunned.  I expected colors to look different.  What I didn’t expect was how much deeper and richer and brighter all the colors were.

“I could lose those glasses tomorrow, and I would still be thankful for having gotten to see what the world actually looks like.  The world is so much more beautiful than I ever thought it was.”

The reason why this analogy struck me so deeply is because our dear friends lost their 14 year old son to suicide two weeks ago, and I am so heartbroken for them.

Depression is emotional colorblindness.  People commonly describe it using the same terms-- like living in a fog, at the bottom of a well, or in a world without color.  We don't see the world as it really is, and the tiny isolated part that we do see is muted and bleak.

"Depression is a malfunction in the instrument we use to determine reality.  The brain experiences a chemical imbalance and wraps a narrative around it."

Depression is a terrible, evil thing because it blinds us from knowing how much we are loved.  It lies to us and tells us that we are unworthy of love:  "I'm so broken.  If people knew what I'm really like..."  The thought is too horrible to finish, but it churns relentlessly in our brains in the middle of the night.

And yet... the rest of the verse continues:

“Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

Paul is saying that we are fully known and fully loved by God, and we will encounter this Love face to face someday.  It gives me to hope to think that Pierce's blindness has been lifted, and he can see now how fully he was loved, by his family and friends here on Earth, and by his Father in Heaven.

Michael Gerson expressed this idea beautifully in his sermon at the Washington National Cathedral:

"Faith, thankfully, does not preclude doubt. It consists of staking your life on the rumor of grace.

"This experience of pulling back the curtain of materiality, and briefly seeing the landscape of a broader world, comes in many forms. It can be religious and nonreligious, Christian and non-Christian. We sometimes search for a hidden door when the city has a hundred open gates. But there is this difference for a Christian believer: At the end of all our striving and longing we find, not a force, but a face. All language about God is metaphorical. But the metaphor became flesh and dwelt among us."

"...Fate may do what it wants. But this much is settled: In our right minds, we know that love is at the heart of all things.

"Many, understandably, pray for a strength they do not possess. But God’s promise is somewhat different: That even when strength fails, there is perseverance. And even when perseverance fails, there is hope. And even when hope fails, there is love. And love never fails."

I Corinthians 13:8-13

Love never ends.

As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know – in part – and we prophesy – in part – but when the Perfect comes, the partial will pass away.  When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three.

But the greatest of these is love.